idiot savant, sans savant
today's dismally idiotic mental blunder involved a clashing of high-tech and low-tech.
enter a 21st century wash room and you're greeted with the latest in motion sensing electronics. toilets, sinks and hand dryers all bow to your warm-blooded will as you go through the motions of semi-antiseptic bathroom activities. by 1900 on the clock on a monday the higher brain functions have all but vanished and we are left with the scantest traces of decision-making power. bring a half-eaten pizza pie and a book into the watercloset with you and it's a whole new game.
where do you put the pizza box during the quick end-of-the-day bladder draining?
not on the floor, that's gross.
no fold out table for changing babies. not even an option. (how unfriendly to new parents!)
hold the pizza while you urinate? hardly sanitary, and high level of difficulty. plus a terrible level of failure if dropped.
the sink!
the flat metal plateau looks dry and perfect. praise modernism.
but now the automatic sink has failed you as it showers your perfect pizza protector with an icy waterfall. horror races through your nerves as you instinctively search for the faucet with which to stop the evil cascade. where is the knob? where is the handle? where is any semblance of mechanical control over this devilish chrome monster? oh yea it's automatic. the pizza box is tripping the sensor, ruining your food vessel with every passing attosecond. by this time 50% of the cardboard is a dark mushy mess, unfit for its duty. it's only been 6 seconds! grab the pizza! snatch it away from the downpour but it's already far too late.
your frown hurts almost as much as your stupidity. how many times have you been in this bathroom? deep sigh of helpless regret. balance the laughable excuse for leftovers across two sinks.
never a more sheepish pee in my life.
enter a 21st century wash room and you're greeted with the latest in motion sensing electronics. toilets, sinks and hand dryers all bow to your warm-blooded will as you go through the motions of semi-antiseptic bathroom activities. by 1900 on the clock on a monday the higher brain functions have all but vanished and we are left with the scantest traces of decision-making power. bring a half-eaten pizza pie and a book into the watercloset with you and it's a whole new game.
where do you put the pizza box during the quick end-of-the-day bladder draining?
not on the floor, that's gross.
no fold out table for changing babies. not even an option. (how unfriendly to new parents!)
hold the pizza while you urinate? hardly sanitary, and high level of difficulty. plus a terrible level of failure if dropped.
the sink!
the flat metal plateau looks dry and perfect. praise modernism.
but now the automatic sink has failed you as it showers your perfect pizza protector with an icy waterfall. horror races through your nerves as you instinctively search for the faucet with which to stop the evil cascade. where is the knob? where is the handle? where is any semblance of mechanical control over this devilish chrome monster? oh yea it's automatic. the pizza box is tripping the sensor, ruining your food vessel with every passing attosecond. by this time 50% of the cardboard is a dark mushy mess, unfit for its duty. it's only been 6 seconds! grab the pizza! snatch it away from the downpour but it's already far too late.
your frown hurts almost as much as your stupidity. how many times have you been in this bathroom? deep sigh of helpless regret. balance the laughable excuse for leftovers across two sinks.
never a more sheepish pee in my life.
posted by incrediblemoo at
7:51 PM
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