Tampod, i mean TamPad, i mean iPad

Dear Steve Jobs,
It's kinda of insulting that such a frivolous piece of over-hyped, redundant technological shit would be released when so many people are having a hard enough time maintaining a steady job to pay the bills.
Come back on stage when you have a product with removable anything (battery, storage, etc) and/or when the battery life doesn't have to be measured in hours.
We're not made of electricity.
However, i do enjoy Stephen Colbert's obsession with the device, because it dovetails so nicely with his television persona.

random animal generator

I thought this used some semblance of scientific prowess, until the applet loaded.

more helpful reviews

Reading reviews of software is always helpful. The decision to avoid Grocery List for my phone was made much easier by a small selection of customer reviews.
Some reviewers complained that the software behaves erratically, while others pointed out that it is just a sub par modification of the notepad software standard on the phone.
One review in particular sealed the deal for me:
"needs to have a way to make separate store lists.
one for grocery store and one for hardware store for example.
four stars"
if this software can't help me differentiate between grocery needs and hardware needs, i will definitely avoid it.
until an update is released, i guess i will be stuck inquiring about organic screwdrivers at whole foods and haggling over cheese prices at home depot.

idiot savant, sans savant

today's dismally idiotic mental blunder involved a clashing of high-tech and low-tech.
enter a 21st century wash room and you're greeted with the latest in motion sensing electronics. toilets, sinks and hand dryers all bow to your warm-blooded will as you go through the motions of semi-antiseptic bathroom activities. by 1900 on the clock on a monday the higher brain functions have all but vanished and we are left with the scantest traces of decision-making power. bring a half-eaten pizza pie and a book into the watercloset with you and it's a whole new game.
where do you put the pizza box during the quick end-of-the-day bladder draining?
not on the floor, that's gross.
no fold out table for changing babies. not even an option. (how unfriendly to new parents!)
hold the pizza while you urinate? hardly sanitary, and high level of difficulty. plus a terrible level of failure if dropped.
the sink!
the flat metal plateau looks dry and perfect. praise modernism.
but now the automatic sink has failed you as it showers your perfect pizza protector with an icy waterfall. horror races through your nerves as you instinctively search for the faucet with which to stop the evil cascade. where is the knob? where is the handle? where is any semblance of mechanical control over this devilish chrome monster? oh yea it's automatic. the pizza box is tripping the sensor, ruining your food vessel with every passing attosecond. by this time 50% of the cardboard is a dark mushy mess, unfit for its duty. it's only been 6 seconds! grab the pizza! snatch it away from the downpour but it's already far too late.
your frown hurts almost as much as your stupidity. how many times have you been in this bathroom? deep sigh of helpless regret. balance the laughable excuse for leftovers across two sinks.
never a more sheepish pee in my life.

die energie der sonne

rejoice!
solar power costs are plummeting with each new innovation, wind technology is becoming more efficient, and ocean power is sounding like less and less like aquaman's fantasy. take the wind energy company flodesign for example.
with a little funding, ok well a generous buttload of funding, they can flesh out their prototype and initiate construction. i have to admit, it looks like the freakish bastard child of a jet engine and that mechanical shark thing from james & the giant peach, and the risk of migrating birds being sucked into turbines will increase thirteen-fold, but i'm sure these minor issues will be resolved in due time.
in the mean time, stew this over in your bubbling neck-mounted thought kettle:
in a few hundred years we went from dumping our shit out the window to electronic talking toilets that wipe our ass for us and thank us for stopping by. (a thin stream of water shot into my ass is not my idea of refreshing, but to each his/her own.)
in a hundred years we went from the homely model-t with a blood-thirsty top speed and laughable mileage to a land rocket powered only by some sunlight, gas, air and a daredevil driver of questionable mental stability. (commercially available sports cars are ridiculously powerful and have some very nice designs, but you'd get better fuel efficiency if you drank a gallon of ethanol and tried to run the nyc marathon)
in thirty years we went from room-sized, vacuum tube powered computing monstrosities to tiny handheld devices that have a better memory than we do. (what's your current longitude and lattitute? yea, i thought so.)
even with all our faults, we are clearly becoming smarter in some way, so let's make this happen. let nature power our toys. we can build a bunch of machines that harness the elements, and just sit back to enjoy the ride.
oh and one more thing.
i really hope i'm not around if flying cars are mass produced. people are oblivious, selfish jerks as it is, and we only drive in two dimensions. give the general public a third dimension, and say goodbye to the pedestrian. you might as well say goodbye to your life as well, because two weeks after you buy your first flying car, some douchebag is going to vertically t-bone you at 230 km/hr because he was trying to get his iphone 6g to sync with his gps mind-controlled steering wheel.
sigh.