metaphorical glory hole

today i discovered, using my trusty foobooz, that two local bars are featured on a national list of dive (read: sh*tty but awesome) bars.

one is located 5 blocks from my brooklyn home, but we have somehow managed to avoid it. definitely a must-see next time i'm in the slope.

the other is located on south street in philly, and i've been there twice.
the first time featured a "drunk spelling bee" which was definitely as entertaining as it sounds.
the second visit featured a piñata, which received some fatal (and ultimately delicious) injuries from my personal stick-swinging skills. i should give props to the $3 special, especially because it affords one the opportunity to speak like Marv from Sin City.
"A shot and a brew, Shelly, and keep'em comin."

back and forth

gotta love the "last" button on the tv remote.

frenetically switching between things i can bite (peaches) and things that can bite me (snakes) is a great way to avoid commercials and maintain attention deficit disorder.

good eats!
animal planet!
good eats! animal planet!

now i want some grilled peaches with a side of bbq snake.

mmm, nature.

half full half empty

the following is a short conversation between my self and my sister.

ris: "mamma mia is the 48th best movie of 50 in '08"

adam: "that means it's the second worst movie in '08"

ris: "fuck you"

adam: "hahaha math doesn't lie"

ris: "haha!"

besides displaying my immediate pessimistic reaction to the situation, this also demonstrates the fragile, comically bipolar nature of the typical brother/sister relationship.

not boring and depressing for once

this is one of those things you watch 9 times in a row, with escalating laughter, then you look away, and watch again, and you just can't stop watching it because it just keeps getting funnier.
wow that's quite the hype. i hope you clicked it first so i didn't spoil the fun.

i'm glad i found this floating around the internet, because i haven't laughed hysterically in over 20 hours, when the game "tostito'd!" was inaugurated with the cataclysmic smashing of tortilla chips over someone's head was first introduced at our massive south philly bbq. i'm honored to have been the 7th person to experience the wrath of crispy destruction.
well not 7th, but i wasn't first, so i might as well be another cool number like 7.

advanced technology and escalating idiocy

In 2008, the Alaskan Department of Fish and Game switched from airplanes to helicopters in their efforts to control the wolf population. This seems like a smart move considering that helicopters are much more nimble than their fixed-wing cousins.
A great way to control the population of any species is, of course, to fly over their homes and gun them down from the air. This is possibly the lamest and most cowardly way to kill anything. The rationale is that the population of caribou is dwindling, and the wolf population needs to be thinned out to allow the caribou to increase in numbers.
Another way to facilitate this recovery of caribou would be to stop killing the herbivores for sport - or food, practice, fun or whatever other excuses we make - instead of shaking up the food chain with our usual lead-footed approach.
But I might be biased against this slaughter, because I've visited a local wolf preserve and donated towards national legislature.
So don't mind me.
I propose an amendment to Moore's Law. As transistor count doubles every two years (until we reach the atomic scale barrier), human intelligence decreases because we can rely on machines to do more thinking for us. How many phone numbers do you remember? What is your hourly wage? Where do you pay your bills? What is your parent's email address? Computers are happy to take care of all of these things, and we are more than happy to let them.
Until the power goes out.

Super Duper Supersonic Flight

The ultimate example of how rich people can get whatever they desire:
A flight from London to New York on the Concorde would get you to NYC one hour earlier than you left England.

Useful for those business trips that require extra-speedy schedules and extra-marital encounters to maintain sanity, because I assume when you're that rich and important, you don't have time for pesky trivialities like love.

The in-flight lobster sounds delicious, though.

Too bad the crafts were discontinued years ago.
holla at the intrepid.
home sweet home.