unofficial letter to microsoft

Dear Microsoft Zune Division,
As you are painfully aware, the world wide web is the best place to learn, follow and categorize trends about pretty much anything. The peculiar obsession with superimposing poor spelling onto photos of felines, the social network of the month, and the almost predictable dislike for new microsoft operating systems are just a few of these wonderful trends to follow.
microsoft has a chance to capitalize on one such trend i've become part of. this trend, of course, is mac owners that want a zune.
not every person that owns an apple computer is devoted to the ipod.
i have owned a few ipods, but the new zune had no trouble swaying me back to the microsoft side.
the simple fact is that the design, interface and features of the zune are clearly superior to those of the ipod.
in the past 5 years i've owned three apple music players. first i bought a second generation ipod, which was stolen from my local pool while lifeguarding. (insert irony)
i used the insurance money and my 18th birthday to replace that with a third generation ipod, which still functions today even after i hacked the firmware and changed the fonts and icons to transformers symbols. this was long before michael bay lured me in to a toy-based film with megan fox and ilm visual effects.
when i landed an industry job right out of college, i decided to treat myself to a first generation ipod touch, which i promptly hacked to facilitate installation of third-party software, custom icons and backgrounds, and of course a super nintendo emulator for my mario fix. this was fun for about three months. the nerd factor wore off quickly, i soon grew bored of the easy access to aim/gmail/youtube and the minuscule storage capacity was claustrophobic at best. i sold the ipod touch in search of a new digital music gadget, but i am still unsatisfied with my options.
a few years ago, the zune was the awkward, homely, mildly retarded half-cousin of the ipod. recently, the zune has grown into its nose, learned to communicate fluidly, and gotten a proper shave. in the year 2009, the ugly duckling has become a majestic swan, and the "zune120" puts the "ipod classic" to shame.
even if we compared the zune to the ipod based purely on television advertising, the zune would crush its sleek, easily-smudged competition.
apple understood that opening the elitism of the ipod to loyal microsoft customers would bring insurmountable profits. as much as windows users bash apple, most people who can afford an ipod will buy one. it seems reasonable to assume the reverse.
many reviews of the zune include a bit about the wireless sharing technology, which usually reads something like "it's cool but i can never find anyone else with a zune." apple computers are more popular these days, especially in two key demographics:
college students and print/radio/television/film professionals.
if you took a poll of mac owners, i guarantee at least 30% would purchase a zune if given the opportunity. take the annual number of apple products sold to these demographics, do the math, and that is a lot of money. ignoring the entire apple user community by not porting zune software to the macintosh operating system is financially idiotic, socially ignorant and absolutely inexcusable.
i just want a black 120gb zune with the year of the tiger drawing and "eye of the tiger muthaf*cka" inscribed on the back.
is that too much to ask?!

sincerely,

adam fram